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It's Never Enough

by Mordecai

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1.
Control 04:21
slowing down fading out the voices that told me that everything would be fine, and this is how you live your life, and make the right choices soon and settle down in to this too. this is why i keep my head down low i had to figure out why i lost control when everything is gone ill start to see the ins and outs of sinking finding out my cries were loud you should have told me i wouldn't have burdened you with things that pretend to matter that much to the ones that you hold onto and i don't want to hear one goddamn thing from you this is why i keep my head down low i had to figure out why i lost control when everything is gone ill start to see the ins and outs of sinking for our time i saw the signs they reached out to me and what i had to be this is why i keep my head down low i had to figure out why i lost control when everything is gone ill start to see the ins and outs of sinking
2.
Try Again 03:49
i laughed when you were leaving you looked down on me you censored all your feelings ignoring all my pleas why didn't i speak up more you knew nothing would change what are you waiting for? please try again this makes no sense i can't trust you to make amends to save all we've paid all your excuses won't change a thing i stared through all your promises you didn't seem to blink and you weren't good at answering questions and i was never one for questioning why didn't i speak up more you knew nothing would change what are you waiting for? please try again this makes no sense i can't trust you to make amends to save all we've paid all your excuses won't change a thing I've come unwound when your not around I've come to terms with you sitting out and i bet you hear when I'm crying now we both lost trust in this working out please try again this makes no sense i can't trust you to make amends to save all we've paid all your excuses won't change a thing
3.
Nothing 03:30
all I've had id give to you but i don't know what else to do it seems to me you've said your peace but your not one for compromising. you've seen my face you've seen my clothes, you've seen me naked we've been that close, I'm sure I've felt alone before but I can't see you anymore. because theres nothing more to say you don't want me and I can't change theres nothing more to say we've balled it all up and thrown it all away, theres nothing more to say. I've held you close for nights on end, and you tell me theres no relationship, i've given every inch of myself, but you'd rather move on to somebody else. because theres nothing more to say you don't want me and I can't change theres nothing more to say we've balled it all up and thrown it all away, theres nothing more to say. I've fallen down with every promise and you can't tell what makes this honest, and you don't feel a single tear, cuz your not left alone here. because theres nothing more to say you don't want me and I can't change theres nothing more to say we've balled it all up and thrown it all away, theres nothing more to say. because theres nothing more to say you don't want me and I can't change theres nothing more to say we've balled it all up and thrown it all away, theres nothing more to say.
4.
Hanging On 03:54
call my name i threw up my hands to hear you say all in all i sat and waited to hear you say we almost made it and you won't call and we won't wait theres not a reason for me to stay just call my name yea just say it again for all the things you said you wanted you never tried to make us stop it and you won't call and we won't wait and theres not a reason for me to stay close to you its all over now its a broken vow this is the lie you lead so don't blame it on me its dragged on so long and all your friends are gone so please don't think I'm still hanging on say its fine just open your eyes don't ever ask for me to help you cuz you and i weren't ever close to being sure and being safe and theres not a reason that i should stay close to you its all over now its a broken vow this is the lie you lead so don't blame it on me its dragged on so long and all your friends are gone so please don't think I'm still hanging on what made the scars was it you who played the part who made it worse why did you use those words where do we go from here whats the point of facing all our fears am i the villain or am i just waiting for this to end its all over now its a broken vow this is the lie you lead so don't blame it on me its dragged on so long and all your friends are gone so please don't think I'm still hanging on
5.
Calm Down 03:06
the things you used to tell me, the things you used to say, well I didn't listen when you open yourself to me. that short cliche sentence, those terrified wandering eyes, well we will get to live our lie. don't you tell me now, try to calm down. the things that were such a bother are things that we remember, and I don't think its just me who's getting older. so head down set in our ways, if you really cared then you'd want it to change. I said why do we bother, if we're not getting closer, we're pushing each other away. I said one year older, without knowing each other. Yeah, you tell me what to say to get across to you that I care about you and I don't want to die without saying. how can we be sure, when will we be gone, I want another chance, I want another shot, were wrapped up in this world, we're waiting on a sign, you never stopped to think that you were never fine. I doubt we ever stop thinking of ourselves. try to calm down.
6.
Perfect 03:50
tell me that I'm a perfect person i see that you got what you wanted i need to hear it from you i don't really care if its true and you don't either you're never there you don't even care you're never there you won't say it just tell me that I'm a perfect person i see that you got what you wanted
7.
Price 04:06
the longer we wait, the mess we've made, won't be solved. the reason you use all the things you abuse and the nights that you call. the hate you've harbored the second time is harder so don't just run to stay out the fate you run from the lies from your lungs we showed ourselves the prices the truth stays in, with these mistakes again, dragging on. i've seen all this, and it never ends, just leave. the hate you've harbored the second time is harder so don't just run to stay out the fate you run from the lies from your lungs we showed ourselves the price
8.
Shell 03:28
you can't just say that you don't want to know, you're all ready you're all ready to go. and I can't say that you won't make it out alive and why would you ask me and believe the truth you know what's right so why won't you fight for what you believe because no one's conceiving for you. and won't you say it's all we've become. it's all that's left today. a shell of our old ways and theres no way that any eyes could see what's up ahead and what will come to be. and there's a choice in how you make it through. the toils, the fights, the lies will all come true. and with no way ahead of us to fall we'll brace ourselves with what we've come to call home. you have to hide away all the things you love for ammunition for all your ambitions for something sufficient to sway your decisions against your resistance. you can make it through you can make it true you can make it through the last few hoops. but, you can't just say that you don't want to know.
9.
Follow 03:15
it's never enough but you keep on asking keep keep holding your breath cuz i'll keep of passing it's no wonder for me so why all the questions what can i ask that would beg your confession we all hide away in a way to our choosing but, you open up only when you are losing we are the same we are so hollow so don't wallow, please just don't follow something's not right but I'm not the problem and neither are you but i can't take on the burden my main concern for your safety is hidden in lines that you hide from daily just stop and call for me you're all mixed up and settling for less than what you're worth take your time from this old earth and put yourself first its never enough but you keep on asking keep telling yourself its love everlasting it's no wonder for me but why all the questions what can i ask that would beg your confession we all hide away in a way to our choosing but, you open up only when you are losing we are the same we are so hollow so don't wallow, please just don't follow
10.
Alone 03:42
you've got no guts you're too soft with those big window eyes that let everybody all the assholes in and they all know what just happened to you well your secrets are written all over your face whatever made you leave your hiding place being alone is the only thing you know that's safe you've got no moves you're so dull well the downside's your shifty hands no one in this town will ever understand and all your girl's dreams of the men they wish you boys could be well your hearts are just organs and your love is empty space well whatever made you leave your hiding place being alone is the only thing you know that's safe i got less guts and I've got less moves hiding my watercolors and my 3 cartoons I walk alone far from the city I don't have to worry about running into anybody no more mistakes i'm never going to leave my hiding place being alone is the only thing you know thats safe

about

The first release by Mordecai (8/30/17):


Artist: Mordecai

Album Title: "It's Never Enough"

Track Listing:
1.Control
2.Try Again
3.Nothing
4.Hanging On
5.Calm Down
6.Perfect
7.Price
8.Shell
9.Follow
10.Alone

Credits:

Released August 30th, 2017

Personnel:
Andrew Endres: Vocals/Drums/Lap Steel/Bass/Guitars/Programming/Etc...
Kate Kilbourne: Vocals/Violin
Grant Pierce: Drums (on "Perfect")

Recorded/Tracked by Andrew Endres at 77 @ 3:33 Recordings, Jay Demko's Studio, and Reinhold Music Studio.

Mixed by Jeff Bond and Andrew Endres at Jeff's Studio and 77 @ 3:33 Recordings.

Mastered by Jeff Bond at Jeff's Studio.

Art by Matt Sweeney





Special Thanks to: Paul Endres, Sherri Endres, Kate Kilbourne, Darrell Grant, Charley Grey, Dan Gildea, Christopher Endres, Todd Brouwer, My Family, Maxwell Cope, Josh Mathys, Eric Crespo, Jay Demko, David Valdez, PSPS crew, and everyone who supported me throughout this project.

credits

released August 30, 2017

Personnel:
Andrew Endres: Vocals/Drums/Lap Steel/Bass/Guitars/Programming/Etc...
Kate Kilbourne: Vocals/Violin
Grant Pierce: Drums (on "Perfect")

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about

Mordecai Portland, Oregon

Veiled in the sonic shroud of avant-pop’s murky soundscapes, Portland, Oregon experimental Duo Mordecai are forging an incendiary path. Comprised of guitarist/vocalist Andrew Alexander Endres and violinist Kate Kilbourne the band came together in early 2016, conspiring darkly sweet, beat-driven bangers that fold in R&B swagger, electro mysticism, and pop sensibility.

Ryan Prado~ Portland Mercury
... more

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